Tuesday, May 24, 2011

What Now?

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Today I drove my baby girl to her last day of high school.  As I walked out of Brueggers with her rosemary olive oil bagel, toasted with butter, (and my fizzy Diet Coke), I had a flash of her in 1st grade all dressed up in a sweet little sundress I made for her with hand-embroidered flowers and ivy across the bodice, anklet socks, and Mary Janes.  The sudden surprise of hot tears blinded me for a moment. 

What now?  This is a little reminiscent of that most difficult day a few years ago, but not the same grief.  I'm very excited for her and am looking forward to watching her grow into what she is to become.  However, I just want to hold my baby again and remember for a while. 

I heard a song the other day with the phrase, "Just five more minutes."  That's what I'd like right now.  Just five more minutes of the hot, sleepy, 2-year-old napping on my chest.  Or the 3-year-old who loved getting all muddy while dressed up in fancy dresses.  After watching "Hello, Dolly!" one evening and adoring the costumes and swirling hems, she stood naked in the bathtub YELLING at me, "You don't dress me right!"  Or the 5-year-old who wanted a wedding cake for her birthday party. 

Meanwhile, I have brownies in the oven, fudge frosting at the ready, and cold Diet Coke in which to drown my tears in for a few hours before I pick her up from school one last time. 

6 comments:

Finding Pam said...

I remember when our youngest son left for college. It is never easy to let fyour kids go, but you know we have to in order for them to live a great life.

Congratulations to Camille. You have taught her well and she will always carry that with her.

greetingarts said...

*Sob!*

The Blonde Duck said...

Awww. At least you know she's on to grand adventures!

Jean said...

Funny how things can get to a person hmmm? I remember crying when our first went to kindergarten! And as each one went across the stage to except their diploma. Yes, it's a mothers perogative to fall back on the memories of our kids as they grew up. To shed a few (well, can't say mine were just a few...LoL) tears.
But isn't it nice that we do have those sweet memories to fall back on at all. Count your blessings...
one day hopefully... you may be getting gramma hugs and kisses. And telling those same sweet stories to your grandkids about how their momma or daddy did things when they were little. And you will probably get some funny looks... because most little ones find it hard to believe that momma or daddy were ever "little kids".
Hang in there.... it's also o.k. to cry into your pillow!

creativedawn said...

I know what you mean sweetie... Congratulations to your lovely daughter! Last year my then 21 yo dd graduated college along with my 18 yo dd, who graduated from high school. Now that college freshman is now a sophomore and my 16 yo ds is now a high school senior. He will be the last ... my baby will graduate next year. OIY! then off to college with him...lol! Anyhoo, time marches on whether we want it to or ready for it...smile...
hugz
Pam

Andie said...

My baby turns 18 next week. How did this happen? And I'm feeling the same way - just one more session of pushing him on a swing or just one more sing-a-long in the car or one more time to tie his ice skates for him. ~tears, sniff~ Congrats to your beautiful daughter and pat yourself on the back for getting her here!