Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I Miss My Son!
Can I tell you how much I miss my son right now? I didn't sleep well last night, and I woke up crying this morning. This is the first time in 14 years I didn't get him ready for the first day of school. I couldn't sleep last night because I thought he could be anywhere. Is he in his dorm room bed? Is he visiting with friends? Did he get a wild idea to run to Wal-Mart at midnight? I don't know. Will he get up in time for college classes? Will he make nice friends? Will he remember to be kind when he is frustrated? Will he remember that he and his sister are my #1 reasons in life right now? I don't know. Will he stand on the firm foundation we laid for him to make good decisions and to know that he has a purpose in life? Will He Remember To Call His Mother ???? !!!!
It's a horrible feeling. I didn't know. He and I were such snobs about going to school near home in South Carolina, especially right down the road. No way! One should go off to college, see new things, meet new people! Thank goodness budgets, scholarships, and the best international business school and language department around convinced us that USC is the best place for him to be, and he is right down the road. I might have been a basketcase right now if he was in another city or state. My heart goes out to you moms with kids far away, although you may have been better adjusted for this than I!
I started practicing right away not calling him too much, although he has only been gone four days!!! However, it isn't like he is at camp and is coming home soon. He's embarking on his grown-up life. My part is all done! Monday we talked a few times and said good-night that evening. Yesterday, I talked to him in the morning when he called for directions, and we were frustrated with each other because he hadn't originally followed my very clear instructions (laughing at myself here). So, as we hung up from that frustration, I told myself I was ridiculous. If this were 20 years ago, he wouldn't be calling me on a cell phone and would be figuring out where to go by himself. I need to let him get on with life and not be a helicopter mom - I really love that term. So, no good-night call last night, but a couple of hours were spent in the easy chair feeling sorry for myself panicking about what he could possibly be doing right at that moment. Then to bed for a restless sleep and waking up ready to weep as my beautiful girl readied herself for high school today. As usual, we headed out and picked up her friend, and I dropped them off for their first day of school. I have a lovely THREE more years with my girl at home, and then ... I guess we'll be talking then if we are all still blogging.
I need a drink. I'm going out for a cold one - Extra-Large Diet Coke, light ice, thank you.